WinChill Factor – Bret Bielema’s Windbreaker Heads to The Swamp

Watch Out ‘The Swamp,’ Bret Bielema’s Windbreaker Is Coming

First off, THANK YOU to all the WinChillers who came through to bring the noise and da funk to Barnhill Arena D.W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium last Saturday night.  You all delivered.  Big time.  I know the team appreciated the overwhelming support.

So, I’m looking at the schedule and it appears we’re headed to someplace on Saturday called “The Swamp.”  WinChillers, I’m a team player as much as anyone.  But so far this season, I’ve already had to go to New Jersey.  Now it’s off to some mosquito-infested land of goo.

Good times.

Anyway, I did some research (did you know there’s a website called “Wikipedia” that has stuff on like…EVERTHING?!?) and here’s what I’ve found:

• The official name of the stadium is “Ben Hill Griffin Stadium at Florida Field,” but it is widely known as “The Swamp” (not gonna judge; who among us hasn’t had an identity crisis at some point or another)
• The stadium was built in 1930, and – quite understandably – has been regularly expanded and renovated over the years
• It is the eleventh largest college football stadium in the U.S., as measured by its official seating capacity of 88,548; however, attendance for their games regularly exceeds 90,000 people (in short, these folks have no qualms whatsoever about breaking the law; listen, there’s a reason we have fire codes in this country, y’all!)

But here’s the really chilling news:  According to published reports, as recent as June 2012, “the playing surface was completely torn out down to the substrate (is it me or does that sound kind of…naughty?) to improve drainage and install a Bermuda grass hybrid developed with assistance from the University of Florida’s agronomy department to better resist drought, disease, and damage.”  Hmmm…what word really stands out in that sentence…could it be…oh, I don’t know… DISEASE?!?

My gosh, let’s hope they’ve got all of that resolved.  I don’t want to subject our guys to a historically contaminated, noxious turf full of heaven knows what.  I mean, it’s the SEC.  Does that actually stand for Shots Encouraged for Company?  Hopefully, they’ll treat their guests well.  On top of everything else we’re dealing with, we shouldn’t have to worry about inoculations.

Also, here are the coordinates for the stadium:  29°39’0”N 82°20’55”W (I’m telling ya, that Wikipedia rocks).

So, on to this week’s WinChill Factor.  No surprise here that it’s Alex Collins (@Budda03), who will be returning to his home state of Florida.  After all, what he has is a very particular set of skills; skills he has acquired over his football career.  Skills that make him a nightmare for people like Florida’s defense.  If the Gators stand aside, that’ll be the end of it.  He will not look for them, he will not pursue them.  But if they don’t, Budda will look for them, Budda will find them … and Budda will run right through them.

So will Jonathan Williams (@Jwillpart2).

Until next week, Fear the Sleeves (and be sure you’re up to date on your shots…just in case).

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Coach Bielema’s Windbreaker made its physical presence known on August 31, 2013.  It is chock full of Razorback spirit, has an unhealthy hatred of sweater vests and fears nothing (other than a hot iron on the “Cotton/Linen” setting).  As game days approach, the Windbreaker can be found interacting with the Razorback faithful on Twitter (@BielWindbreaker).

At times, the Windbreaker associates with Shayne Smith, a lifelong resident of central Arkansas who has been known to begin sentences with “Notwithstanding the foregoing….”