A Valentine for My Running Spouse:

Or, You Weren’t Like This When I Married You

By Jay Ruud

You rise at 5 a.m. to beat the heat.

Sundays I’m left alone for five long hours.

For Valentines you want not only flowers,

But Chomps and blister plasters for your feet.

And if we think of going out to eat,

It’s pasta for your carb-load. Even if it pours,

You hit the road with all the strength that’s yours

To train for that next marathon, and beat

Your PR, whatever that is.

Who are you?

You pulled a bait and switch. But love is love.

So rather than just tell you “get a life,”

I pretend to listen and to have a clue

When you drone on of wicking shirts and gloves–

And at the finish I brag: “That’s my wife!”

Jay Ruud is married to Sporting Life Arkansas’ Reluctant Athlete, Stacey Margaret Jones, who had never run a half a block when he married her.

Although he believes running is boring and bad for his knees, he has run three half-marathons so that he can spend some time with his wife.

He has two grown children (Jennifer and Christian) and a grandson (Wesley). At home, he has three dogs and a harassed cat.

He teaches English at the University of Central Arkansas.

The last book he wrote was A Critical Guide to J.R.R. Tolkien, and he was last seen on stage playing Lady Bracknell in The Importance of Being Earnest at the Conway Dinner Theater.

He is a long suffering fan of the Chicago Cubs, and believes that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.