One-third of the regular season is now in the books. And…we still don’t know how this season will play out.
Is that great or what?
Despite a 3-1 record, we’re still in “Who Knows?” mode. Are we going to win two more games? Three or more? Who will we surprise and/or who will overlook us? What, exactly, is the ceiling on this Arkansas team? To be honest, it’s literally too early to tell with the schedule we’ve played so far.
Of course, there are some things we have discovered during this rather enjoyable run. For example, we know that we need to be in the stadium in time to see the opening kick-off (and that ESPNU may be the least reliable outlet ever to broadcast the start of a game on time; I mean, ESPN has 50+ channels…FIND ONE to move the game to or, better yet, move the game that is hopelessly blown out over to ESPN Classic so that the Razorback game – on national TV – can start on time! It’s about priorities, people. Don’t wait so long next time to dump us over to ESPN2). It’s also now apparent that we have an offensive line that, unfortunately, will never be able to partake in the “Buy 1 Get 4 Free” suit sales at Jos. A. Banks. They’re just…too…dang…big.
And “Big” is the operative word of the week as we’re about to return to Big Boy football in ye olde SEC. The middle third of our schedule features three teams currently ranked in the Top 12 (taken from the AP Top 25 poll) before we get an anticipated breather against the Blazers. But first, our old SWC rival: the Texas Agricultural and Mechanical University.
Pssst….what do Aggies think Cheerios are? (1)
The Texas A&M Aggies, an institution full of tradition. The 12th Man. Midnight Yell practice. Reveille (now up to Reveille VIII, who has been the barkiest mascot in football since 2008 – which is only slightly better than being the drooliest mascot (see Uga VI, Georgia)). They also boast the second best band in the SEC. The list of rich and impression traditions goes on and on. Even to one tradition in particular that is an Aggie Week favorite of Arkansas Razorback fans: Aggie Jokes.
How do you keep an Aggie busy? (2)
Some might say that we tell such jokes out of jealousy. Maybe. It could also be said that we might be a little irritated that Texas A&M was invited into the SEC by our “partners,” as this potentially cuts into our recruiting base in the Lone Star state. But, honestly, who could blame the Aggies for joining the best of the best? That’s why we jumped ship from the sinking SWC (thanks, SMU!!). Our visionary, Coach Broyles, saw the path and led us to the Promised Land years ago. Texas A&M wasn’t going to screw up their chance a second time.
Did you hear about the Aggie who was 2 hours late to class? (3)
Besides, I am nothing if not a benevolent, inclusive and forgiving piece of polyester.
What does it say on the bottom of Dr. Pepper bottles at A&M? (4)
As Oscar Wilde once said, “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” So, with that said, I completely forgive Texas A&M for all of their Texas-sized tradition and bluster that they rub in everyone’s faces each season. After all, a school that enabled us to enjoy the facial expressions of Shelby Metcalf (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shelby_Metcalf) while the Triplets were dunking with ease during the Eddie Sutton days of the SWC can’t be all bad.
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This week’s WinChill Factor is the Offensive Line. Our best defense might be controlling the ball on offense with sustained, soul-crushing drives as we plow through the heart of the Aggie defense. It’ll be up to the young men in the trenches to clear the way for the Red Menace of Collins, Williams and Marshall…then we’ll have Brandon Allen fire a 45-yard TD strike to Keon Hatcher. That’s OUR new tradition.
And, one for the road: Two Aggie football players were down in College Station partying. They were hootin’ and hollerin’ when a bartender asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took two months. “Two months!?” exclaimed the bartender. The Aggie replied, “Yeah, but the box said 4-6 years.”
Until next time: Fear the Sleeves.
1: Donut seeds
2: Write “Please turn over” on both sides of a piece of paper.
3: The escalator was stuck.
4: Open other end.
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Coach Bielema’s Windbreaker made its physical presence known on August 31, 2013. It is chock full of Razorback spirit, has an unhealthy hatred of sweater vests and fears nothing (other than a hot iron on the “Cotton/Linen” setting). As game days approach, the Windbreaker can be found interacting with the Razorback faithful on Twitter (@BielWindbreaker).
At times, the Windbreaker associates with Shayne Smith, a lifelong resident of central Arkansas who has been known to begin sentences with “Notwithstanding the foregoing….”
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